I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
