i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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