This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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