would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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