You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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