shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
do nipples grow back?
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