I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
