HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
