think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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