Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
