I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
