im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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