I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Houston, we have a squirter
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
