OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's always time for handjobs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize