I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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