quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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