the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
