People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
