Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
