you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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