why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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