I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
