420 ftw
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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