So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
