Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
