It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Semen is not good for contacts.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
