she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
