y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
