I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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