I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
