her vagina looked like bernie madoff
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
