if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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