Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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