I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
