he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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