party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
