We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
