he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
