So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
