Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you will always have a special place in my vag
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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