He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
