this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
