Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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