New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
