Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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