No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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