The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The uberlube is also flammable
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
