He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
