I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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