My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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