i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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