that's an acceptable place to lick
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
