I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize