i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
