I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
