I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
