Pappa wants mamma naked
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
