He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
