Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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