I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
